Anybody to L o v e
by Illusional Writter
Summary: "What can an eternity of damnation matter to someone who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?" Charles Baudelaire. He gave every single thing, even his sanity, just to be with her. Although it seems not enough. But he doesn't mind... he's far from salvation anyway. AU Roxas/Naminé Rated M for mild-sexual themes.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, everything belongs to Square Enix.**_

* * *

Roxas was sitting on the corner of his bed between a mess of dirty sheets. Blond locks of greasy hair hung over unfocused blue eyes as he rubbed roughly his knuckles until the scars over them started to bleed again. The curtains covered the only window plunging the room into tick darkness that hung over him like a heavy blanket, however he didn't feel uncomfortable. After all, he belonged there, that was his place.

_My place… the only place where I can reside now._

_Roxas felt a shiver running down his spine, drowning his body into the most undesirable cold, though he could still feel her warmth in the palms of his hands. That warmth he was so addicted to. Every time he remembered that sweet sensation a broken smile drew on his tired face._

_What or who made me change?_

Oh right, it was she. She drove him to this pitch black abyss and let him fall in it. She, with her innocent sapphire eyes, velvet-like skin, lustrous platinum hair, soft voice, mouth-watering vanilla scent, lithe figure and pink lips. She was the guilty one of his deplorable situation. She and _**she alone**_.

_Then again...How did I meet that devilish girl?_

The first time he had landed eyes on her was six months, three weeks and five days ago, it was a Friday. Roxas got a call from his brother Sora who invited him to his place with the sole purpose of meeting a certain someone. Even if the blond tried to avoid that meeting Sora was so insistent that he ended accepting the invitation. Right after Roxas stepped into his brother's apartment he was greeted with the vision of the most beautiful woman he had seen in his entire life. She was sitting on the couch, laughing merrily at something Sora just said. The moment his cerulean eyes looked into her light-blue eyes, he knew deep inside that this woman would be his undoing.

"Roxas, she's my girlfriend Naminé. Naminé, he's my brother Roxas." Thus Sora had introduced them.

The blond extended his hand and she shook it gently as she smiled coyly. The touch of her soft skin filled him with a strangely exciting feeling.

A few weeks later, he received a text from Sora and they agreed to meet at a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Much to Roxas surprise and pleasure Naminé was there too. The three of them chatted animatedly while they ate, but the blond noticed the spare glances, suggestive smiles and several touches the girl dedicated him and he couldn't refrain from smirk.

_"Don't be an idiot! She's just being friendly because you're brother of her boyfriend, nothing more and nothing else."_ Every time he found himself thinking on her, he repeated that phrase until he convinced himself of that simple fact.

Naminé was always affable and conversed animatedly with him. There were curious times when Naminé stared at him very intensely like she wanted to say something but just couldn't bring herself to do it and instead she just looked at him trying to transmit her silent message. Gradually, he was starting to enjoy and crave those moments he shared with her even though deep inside him he couldn't allow himself to hold any hope of something happening between them. She was his brother's girlfriend. She was completely out of reach.

_Or so I innocently thought…_

Roxas life gave a 360 grades change an uneventful rainy afternoon. The blond was watching TV when someone knocked on his door. He went to the door thinking that his pizza had arrived, but right after opening it a pair of cold arms encircled his neck and a pair of warm lips collided onto his. His body went rigid for a brief second until his brain recovered the ability to think and pulled away from whoever was kissing him. His surprise was great when he saw a drenched Naminé before him.

"What are you-" Roxas began but she cut him off kissing him again.

"Don't talk." She whispered softly and he obeyed, absorbed in her touch, her smell, her warmth, her everything.

The door swung shut and they moved to his bedroom almost blindly. Their clothes started fell down methodically - like if they had done this many times before - while they explored their mouths sensually. Roxas' calloused hands caressed every inch of her exposed skin memorizing the texture in his mind. He felt an exhilarating ardor where her small hands and lips touched his body. Roxas went on top of her, taking the control and she received him inside her almost eagerly. Being inside her was the most fantastic feeling in the world, no other woman had ever made him feel this way before. For the very first time, he felt truly complete.

Roxas covered her body with soft caresses, passionate kissed and pleasurable thrusts; in return she rewarded him with loud moans and sometimes screaming his name in a husky voice. After everything was over they remained looking into each other's eyes not saying a sole word until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, Naminé had disappeared from the apartment when he woke up. Roxas could have sworn that it was all a dream, if not for the note she left with an hour and a place written on it and her characteristic vanilla scent lingering on the bed sheets.

That same afternoon they met at a cafe near Naminé's apartment complex. They talked for hours about thousands of things besides what had happened last night and came to an agreement. They would meet in his apartment occasionally and secretly, they would pretend that nothing had happened between them in front of Sora and most importantly, there couldn't be more. Roxas accepted immediately and they continued their secret affair. He hung out with Sora and Naminé some afternoons or weekends and frequently at night he received the pleasant visits of the little blonde.

Today was one of those nights. Namine writhed and panted below him as he caressed her breasts a little more roughly than other times, though she didn't mind it at all. His mouth traced a pattern of kisses that went for her mouth, to her neck, to her earlobe and again to her mouth while Naminé was clawing at his back like her life depended on it. At this point Roxas knew by heart how to treat her on bed. They reached their climax at the same time and collapsed on the mattress with the body glistening with sweat.

"I love you." He told her and she smiled sweetly. She touched his cheek with her delicate hand and planted a chaste kiss on his lips before getting up from the bed. Her nude figure danced before his eyes as she picked her discarded clothes from the floor.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asked, leaning on his elbow to look at her better but Naminé didn't answer so he asked again.

The little blonde blue eyes fell upon him blankly. "I have to go."

"You can stay for the night, you know?"

"I can't." Naminé replied mechanically, like so many times she had done before.

"C'mon, stay here." He insisted. She didn't say anything. "Naminé..." Her name left his mouth like a plea. The girl smiled at him again before going inside the bathroom.

Roxas breathed heavily, massaging his temples. He was going to have a brutal headache later and with that in mind he let his head fell on the pillow. The blond knew it was impossible for her to stay with him. He had agreed that their meetings had to be nothing more than casual and furtive encounters, that would be their charm, yet he couldn't help but want more. Was he wrong to want more? Was it wrong to want to wake up feeling her resting beside him? Was it wrong to want her all for no one more than him? Was he wrong…?!

_Damnit no!_ Roxas had every right to demand more. He left a lot of things behind just to be with her, he even had betrayed his own brother for her and now he needed that Naminé gave him what he rightfully deserved.

He got up from the bed, his head throbbing like hell and went to pick up his pants and put them on while Naminé left the bathroom fully clothed. Her fingers ran through her long hair trying to fix it in its usual waves. Roxas looked at her petite form, taking into every detail of her and leaned onto the wall behind him smirking.

"What's so funny?" Naminé asked bewildered, approaching him.

"Nothing...it's just that you're beautiful." His strong arms wrapped around her slender waist and she giggled.

"Come on, I have to go. Someone's waiting for me." Naminé leaned her head over his chest.

"Sora ...?" She nodded. "Don't go." His words sounded harsh but Naminé dismissed it as another of his tantrums.

"We've talked about this Roxas." Naminé replied tiredly.

"I know and I've told you what I want."

She pulled away from him slightly and saw that his cerulean eyes shone with determination. "And I told you that this is all I can give you."

"_**Fuck it**_!"

"Roxas?" She said a little scared.

"It's not enough anymore, Naminé. I can't take this anymore." His hands left her waist and placed over her shoulders.

"Are you serious about that?" Naminé was trembling. She couldn't see his face as shadows hid it like a mask. Slowly his hands grabbed her by the neck. "Roxas? It hurts…please, let me go."

"Why is it not me? Tell me, Namine! Why can't it be me? _**WHY**_?!" Tears streamed down his cheeks as his hands clenched tighter and tighter.

The moment his cerulean eyes connected with hers he saw panic filling them; he felt her hands trying - in vain - to pry his own off of her throat. Roxas instinctively tightened his grip and her mouth gaped trying to pull air into her lungs desperately, her nails dug into his skin until blood started to flow from the scratches. Naminé's eyes filled with tears, but he couldn't stop. Every time he tried to let her go, the thought of seeing her again in the arms of another man assaulted his mind, tearing up his soul and he wouldn't allow that to happen. If he couldn't be with her, if she couldn't give him more, then she wouldn't give to anyone else.

_She was mine… she's mine. Namine will always be mine._

Naminé tried to fight back kicking him with all the strength her legs could muster but it was insufficient. Roxas lifted her slim body and slammed her back against the wall continuously; her head hit the wall so hard that it had begun to leave a mark of blood in the spots where it stamped. When her hands fell limply at her sides, Roxas knew she was gone. He immediately deposited her lifeless body on the bed, looking at her utterly pale face one last time. Her eyes were wide open and resembled the ones of a doll…hollow, her soft lips had lost their color and warmth, yet she still was beautiful.

"I'm glad you decided to stay." He kissed her slightly parted lips before lying next to her, taking one of her small hands in his. "Goodnight, my love." Roxas murmured, drifting into sleep.

* * *

At six o'clock, Sora received a text from his brother just saying "come to my place, we have to talk." That simple sentence gave the brunet a bad feeling. Unable to return to sleep or dissipate his wariness Sora decided to get up from his bed and put some clothes on. He arrived at Roxas' home just twenty minutes after the blond had sent the message. Much to Sora's surprise, the front door was unlocked so he could step inside freely and found his brother sitting at the kitchen table reading a book, shirtless and drinking a cup of coffee.

"Roxas? Hey…" Sora said, gaining the blond's attention. Although the brunet was confused at his brother's silent behavior when he looked into Roxas' eyes he saw absolutely nothing, they were two empty blue marbles.

Roxas sighed and pointed to his bedroom before he returned his attention to the book. Sora walked cautiously to the room and what he found was his girlfriend sleeping soundlessly. He approached her warily and touched lightly her cheek, noticing how cold she was. Then he noticed another important thing… she wasn't breathing. His mind went on a frenzy of questions, anger and repulsion. He felt his body petrified and cold beside that corpse. He wanted so badly to puke.

"Sora...we need to talk." Roxas said nonchalant from the kitchen.

When Sora was calm enough he sat before Roxas, his features were stone hard and his eyes were like furious blue-fire. Although, apparently Roxas didn't mind at all because he continued sipping his coffee as he passed to the next page of the book.

"Since when...?" Sora asked.

"Huh?"

"Since when was Naminé cheating on me with you?"

"Does it matter?" Roxas shrugged insouciant closing the book and leaving it on the table.

"I suppose no..." Sora sighed heavily.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean?" Sora lifted an eyebrow at his question.

"Do you want to beat the crap out of me because I was screwing up your girlfriend? Do you want revenge? Tell me Sora, what?" The blond's voice was hollow, indifferent and somewhat bored.

"What do you want me to say, Roxas? Really, what do you expect me to do?" Sora rested his elbows on the table, burying his face into his hands in frustration.

"It was your fault." Roxas said flatly, though he was frowning.

"What the hell are you talking about?! _**You**_ were the one who killed _**her**_, not _**me**_!" Sora exclaimed enraged.

"Even so, it's your fault! You noticed all the signs Naminé was sending me. You knew that something was odd between she and I and you preferred to ignore it, to play dumb!"

"You're wrong! I loved her and I trusted her and I trusted you too! For God's sake, you're my brother, Roxas! I thought that you two were becoming friends!"

"Yeah, very good _**friends**_." Roxas said sarcastic. "Then, it leaves us with the question…what are you going to do with _**me**_?"

"That's a good question. I wish I had an answer for it." Sora stood up and headed for the door.

"Sora?" The brunet stopped in his tracks but he didn't look at Roxas. "Naminé preferred me, she always did."

"Really? Did she tell you that? Did Naminé tell you '_I love you'_? Sora said somberly.

Roxas stayed in silence fulminating his brother's back with a glare before he left him alone with her.

And that is where he had been since then. He was sitting on the bed where they made love, smoking his fifth cigarette in a row, not looking at the corpse lying beside him. Sora's words resounded in his mind tormenting him.

Sora was right... Naminé never said she loved me, not even once. I was always the one who told her that I loved her.

A sharp blade danced in front of his eyes hypnotizing him. Roxas knew what he wanted to do now. With a swift movement the silver weapon sliced the back of his right wrist, then he did the same to the left wrist. A hot river of a sticky red liquid flowed freely from the cuts, staining the blankets. He let his body collapsed onto the mattress with a thud. Roxas turned his head to see the girl, she looked so peaceful.

_I want to be with you...forever_

Roxas cuddled Naminé close to him and closed his eyes, waiting for the sweet sleep that will carry him to the place she was.


End file.
